For the next two weeks, as part of the WordPress Writing 201 Poetry course, I shall be turning poet. Poet laureate in the making I am not, but here is today’s task… to write a Haiku poem, with water as the subject, and including a simile.
Asphyxiate.
The surface, distant.
Finally, her lips gave in.
It seized, like feathers.
lauragabriellefeasey.wordpress.com 
This is so beautifully depressive. Thank you. Seriously.
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Thank you. Something definitely appeals to me about making the macabre beautiful, I don’t know if that’s even more depressing?!
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Noice! I don’t know if it was intended, but for me this piece felt intense. Nice haiku
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It was indeed intended, and I’m glad it evoked that for you, thanks for reading!
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New to this course and poetry too, but wow what a start you’ve made – a dark and daring haiku, love it.
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Thank you, that’s very lovely, it’ll give me a nice boost to tackle today’s task… :-S
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One of the best I’ve read so far 🙂
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Wow, thank you, what a lovely compliment 🙂
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There is some cognitive dissonance to “seized, like feathers” that is quite gripping, especially so coupled with such that ominous “It”; maybe the surface, maybe death, maybe something more nefarious. Enjoyed the piece.
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That’s such an insightful interpretation, thank you for sharing it. There is something interesting about a description that fits both a mental and a physical horror, it demonstrates how closely the two are interlaced…
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It has a great hidden meaning!
Thanks for putting it up!
🙂
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Thank you, I’m so pleased people have been getting a deeper meaning from it! 🙂
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It’s written with a deep emotion 🙂
keep it up!
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drips with dissent …nicely smithed
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Why thank you 😉
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Not a poet laureate my ass lol! Great haiku!!! I’m so far removed from my creative self, it’s beginning to feel like a terminal illness.
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Haha, thanks! Write it all down, then you won’t feel removed anymore… 😉
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You’ve managed to create such a mesmerizing poem within the confines of the haiku ~ I love the mystery.
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Thank you. I thought the limitations might infuriate me, but I actually rather enjoyed it 🙂
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It seized us.
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Ha, great comment 🙂
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Great poem 😉
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