Another task in my bid to become poet: An acrostic attempt at internal rhyme, on the theme of trust…
Buried.
Lifeless her fingers lingered.
Ice at the tips.
Eyes vacant
Slits.
Another task in my bid to become poet: An acrostic attempt at internal rhyme, on the theme of trust…
Buried.
Lifeless her fingers lingered.
Ice at the tips.
Eyes vacant
Slits.
lauragabriellefeasey.wordpress.com 
Nice piece here. I like the way each line got shorter until that final line. These acrostic poems are fun to read, the relationship between the word (lies) and the poem adds another dimension to the way the poem reads.
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Thanks! They are such an interesting form, and something I haven’t considered before. You’re right, they add another dimension, which is a great tool for a writer, especially when you’re trying to be succinct.
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Yeah, it’s a whole extra word that intensifies the brevity. You painted a dead body on the floor and the “Lies” had the same effect to me as a warning sign saying “caution hazardous lies” sorry if I’m rambling. I like the way you used this form for this piece
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Not at all, I welcome any rambling, or as I (as a persistent rambler) like to call it, a steady stream of insightful conscious thought. 🙂
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Killed it (no pun intended). I typically try to offer some suggestions for revision along with my praise but you’ve groomed this one to a great resting place (pun intended).
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Fabulous puns. You should write for The Sun :-S
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Although I have just realised you’re perhaps American so you probably don’t know what that means… Still, fabuloso puns.
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The tension in “lifeless” and “lingered” is interesting…an animating alliteration? with fingers to point the way…hey
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Very powerful words. I love how concise yet impactful your poem is. Way to go.
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Thank you! I seem to have lost my tendency towards endless wordy sentences with this poetry malarkey 😉
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You’re not wordy lol
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Buried? Exhumed! Perfect poem.
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You’re natural at this. Wonderful poem.
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I’m still not confident with it though, maybe by the end of this course… But I don’t think I’ll ever be a poet!
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Well, you are already a poet, it seems.
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This is amazing. So simple yet so powerful and with all of the elements of the challenge.
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Thank you! It’s a change from my usual wordiness but I’m finding it rather refreshing to try and be succinct!
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Really good!
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I like what you’re doing here. Photo grabs the eye. Short and…well, not quite sweet, but packed with quality. Unrelated to the poem – overall very nice blog setup/layout.
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Haha, yes not necessarily sweet but I get your point, and thank you! 🙂
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